5/12: Not Your Average Romantic Comedy

With everything that’s going on, you’d think some people would be more considerate of at least not shoving their happiness down other people’s throats. But no, I happen to hang out with two people who can’t seem to keep their feelings to themselves.

Boyfriend, who has a real issue with PDA, is hounding me to be more affectionate and Sluthammer is accusing me of having, as she puts it, intimacy issues. I’m going to have to hide her next issue of Cosmo before she diagnosis me with an eating disorder because I refuse to even consider left over as meal option.

Is it my fault I grew in a family that wasn’t touchy feely? No and I’m not blaming my parents for my reluctance to tongue Boyfriend in public. My parents been married forever and not kissing and hugging in public hasn’t made their relationship any worse. In fact, I think it’s probably the reason why they’re still together—they save the private stuff for when they are in PRIVATE. Either way, I’m not going to let Boyfriend make me feel (there’s that word!) like a weirdo because we don’t kiss at the end of pier at sunset. I will hold his hand, though, I’m not that cold.

You know who could use some restraint in the intimacy department? Yeah, Sluthammer. She’s has found yet another winner to pledge her body and soul to. This guy is her typical daddy substitute. They both drive the same kind of car which Sluthammer pointed out because it’s totally normal to be dating a man who drives the same car as your dad. Gross. But Sluthammer claims she’s in love and she doesn’t care who knows about it…As long as it’s not his wife who this guy is, supposedly, separated from. Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

So of course we all go out together and it’s weird. But not as weird as watching a man pay for everything in cash. I thought it was because he’s smart and doesn’t want his wife finding out he’s hanging out with people who could be his kids (if he’d had us at 16). Nope, MoneyBags pays for EVERYTHING in cash which makes me wonder where he gets it from. But not too hard, I don’t really want to know and neither does Sluthammer who refuses to acknowledge how weird everything about her and him looks to me.

So there you have it. Two screwed up relationships that you’ll never see in some dippy romantic comedy even though, it pains me to admit, there is some fun being had there. If Boyfriend could dial down the PDA about 75%, it would be great and I know Sluthammer and MoneyBags will break up…and I’ll stop texting Thief. Then life will be almost normal and normal is good even if they don’t make movies about it.

5/03: Construction Cruel

Need: I'm working a two day temp assignment at a construction site. I'm not sure if you know this, but construction sites are loud. So loud, I can't even hear any hammering, though plenty of it is going on.

Want: I'm not a vacation type of gal (why lounge when you can work?), but right now a quite, deserted beach sounds good. What would make it perfect would be WIFI and sand that doesn't work it's way into the my bikini bottom.

Have: Currently, I have wads of Kleenex sticking out of my ears which I have to pull out every time the phone rings or someone comes into the trailer. At least I wore closed toe shoes today and, I admit it, I kind of like wearing the hard hat and am keeping it on even though I don't have to wear it indoors.